Heart Hurt
by racooncity
Summary: "He may not see I'm hurt. He may not see my cries. But every time he acts that he doesn't care, I die." It hurts…to know that I love him so much… and to know that he doesn't love me back. 1827, AU-ish, shounen-ai.


Title: Heart Hurt

Pairing: 1827, implied 1896

Disclaimer: I own _nothing_. Except 2 KHR_ tankoubon_ ( is this even how you write it?)

Warning: Angst-galore. **Please read the A/N on the end of the story**!

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><p><em><em>お誕生日おめでとう<em>、雲雀 恭弥! Selamat Ulang tahun, Hibari Kyouya! 祝你生日快乐，云雀恭弥！Happy Birthday, Hibari-san~!_

_5 fanfictions for the 5__th__ day of the 5__th__ month of the year. Dearest readers, credits definitely go to __**Hibari Kyouya**__ who I dedicate this fic to. HIS VONGOLA GEAR IS SO FRIGGIN' COOL, DAMNIT. __**Happy birthday**__, darliiiiiiiiii- *tonfa'd*_

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><p>"<em>He may not see I'm hurt. He may not see my cries. But every time he acts that he doesn't care, I die."<em>

That may be a very fitting quote for how I feel right now.

I _know, _that Hibari-san would not even spare me much of a glance when I passed by him.

I _know_, that he never thinks about me.

I _know, _for a fact, that I'm the least of his concerns.

But it hurts.

I smiled to my guardians, bidding them good night and closed the door. I locked it, and my smile turned to a frown. I turned around, leaning my back on the door, and tears started slipping down my cheeks.

It hurts…to know that I love him so much… and to know that he doesn't love me back.

Kyouya had just come back from another week-long mission. We're an established couple now, and he's my lover.

Or "lover", should I say.

I rushed to his room, very concerned and worried about him. And then you know what?

I saw him being… _affectionate _with Chrome.

I smiled fake smiles the whole day, pretending that I did not see the scene at all, pretending that I'm okay, I'm alright, nothing's wrong. I think my guardians did sense that something was wrong… except _him_, of course.

I'm not putting any blame on either Kyouya or Chrome, of course. If anyone's at fault, it's me. _I'm _the one who's wrong. It's _me_.

If Kyouya likes Chrome, I shouldn't have said anything about my feelings and spare my heart from breaking instead. No matter how hard it was confessing to Kyouya. No matter how fast my heart raced when I stuttered the words. No matter how fragile my heart was at that time.

I… I shouldn't have said anything at all.

My condition months ago, when I had a crush on Kyouya and thought it was a one-sided love… with now, when I'm actually lovers with the one I love… aren't that differently at all.

At first, I thought, _ah, it's okay, he's just shy._ I consoled myself, trying to assure myself.

But then, he didn't change. He never said he loved me, he never said he cared for me.

I know this would sound really girly and all, but it hurts.

Many times I wondered, _did he agree to be my lover because of pity…?_

And no matter how I tried to say _no _to that question, I know…

…that deep in my heart,

…deep, deep down there,

…I know that he might have agreed because of pity.

Pity towards the small weakling herbivore he never even considered as his boss.

Pity towards someone who's vulnerable in front of someone he loves the most.

Just… pity.

I started to slide down the door and dark spots started to form on my shirt, caused by the tears that flows freely now. I sobbed quietly, not wanting to alert anyone, even though I know that I'm alone in the dark, cold room. I pulled my feet and tried to do anything to stop the flow of tears.

It seems that I've fallen for him… to the point that I need nothing but simple words from him. Just… just any sign that _he_ actually _cares _about _me._

But of course, they're nothing but empty wishes. Just like how empty this relationship is.

That's why I've decided to put things to an end…

…before my heart breaks even worse and I die.

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><p>"Kyouya, we need to talk." I said the next day, when he was reporting about the mission he just finished. Kyouya raised his eyebrow gracefully.<p>

"About what, Tsunayoshi?" he asked, and I felt my resolution to end our 'relationship' started to crack.

I toughen myself.

"I think…that our relationship's not working." I said, words falling out of my mouth bitterly like they're not even supposed to be said. It felt wrong. My fists were trembling; my eyes tearing up. I felt my voice cracking, so I didn't say anything.

"Hn."

Kyouya left.

I bowed my head down. Tears started to fall down like streams of my shattered heart, my body shaking uncontrollably as I hunched down. My arms wrapped themselves around me, my heart hurting like crazy.

I cried.

I cried for my broken heart.

For the fact that I've lost him.

For the fact…

…that it's over.

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><p>Hibari closed the door with a soft click. His bangs covered his usually-cold eyes and he leaned on the door.<p>

A lone tear fell.

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><p>AN: ….WHAT WITH THE SAD ANGSTY FIC, BRAIN? =_=;;;;; I planned for a **1827 FIC, **not a 1896 FIC. My OTP is still 1827, not 1896- *tonfa'd*.

Oh my God, it felt so good to actually write KHR fanfictions and read KHR mangas and listen to KHR character songs again! I feel alive~!

I actually wrote this as I think about it. That's why the plot was a bit… _ngeh_. It was like a jelly—thoughts like _"maybe I can make Tsuna suffer from a disease and will die soon!"_ _or "maybe Hibari's working on something with Chrome for Tsuna!"_ or _"maybe Hibari has a disease instead of Tsuna, and will die soon so he distanced himself!"_ or stuff like that…they tempted me. I _can _write about it…just not for Hibari's birthday.

But _nay_.

I'll just leave it up to you guys to think about it ;) cuz I'm lazy that way *shot*

I actually re-read the whole fic again and was like. "THIS. Must be one of the shortest, simplest story ever written on Mother Earth."

I feel fail ;A;

_R&R are loooooooooove._


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